UM blog

Ending Violence

7/18/2024

How do you end violence when ideas collide and ignite anger instead of dialogue? Conflicts of ideas aren’t going to end; in fact, they need to be encouraged in public life, companies, and relationships. The problem isn’t the collision of ideas; it’s the inability to

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20 Questions to Solve Problems

10/12/2023

Managers and coaches must have well-aimed questions in their toolkits to unlock what's hidden in every problem, complaint, or conflict: hidden requests, hidden demands, hidden meanings, or hidden triggers. And the way to do that is to ask questions — not to get at who's to blame, but to reveal what is hiding behind the complaint.

The #1 Most Important Question

8/1/2023

Someone calls you.
They have a problem.
You want to help.

I know I do, and therein lies a bigger problem. My sincere desire to help often leads me to

In Your Mind

5/26/2023

Consider for a minute that many obstacles to your problems are in your mind! I’m not doubting your sanity, but most of your basic problems can easily skyrocket into serious issues if you don’t take a moment to look inside before you respond. Recognizing that problems can

3 Steps to An Uplifting Mindset

4/25/2023

It's not uncommon to get stuck in a negative cycle and spin out limiting stories about life in general or complain about other people who are just plain unenlightened, or maybe you even give yourself a hard time. It can be downright challenging to break this cycle and turn it around, but it's not only possible; it's essential for moving forward.

Careless to Conscious

2/23/2023

Careless speaking shows up in the language of endless complaints, hurt feelings, and righteous truth.

How do you become more conscious of your communication? Ask yourself these six questions BEFORE you open your mouth!

New Beginning Energy

1/31/2023

“I'm bored!!” That's what I hear from my community, and I wonder if you feel like life, jobs, and relationships are dull, monotonous, or stale? Are you bored?

Remember your first day on a job that you loved? You were interested; you asked questions. You were present with

The Tension of Conflict

10/27/2022

Behind every conflict is an unresolved complaint. A complaint arises when someone or a group of people don't get what they wanted, expected, or think is a fair deal. How do you stand in the tension of conflict when your intention is to make a difference? Think about your conflict strategy. We all have one, and the

The Most Important Decision

9/27/2022

What is the most important decision you can make? Before you read the rest of this Uplifting Mindset, take a minute to contemplate your answer. Also, ask the other people around you how they would answer that question. I asked five folks, friends, and family. Here’s what they said:

MidYear Mindset Reset

7/28/2022

If you're like me, you might feel a little rudderless if you don't have a goal. And, like me, you may start thinking about why you sometimes exit the playing field before you accomplish all the goals you set at the beginning of the year, let alone the goals you set every day. So before promoting a midyear reset, I propose

Well-Aimed Questions

6/23/2022

Do you have problems? If you do, then you're probably looking for answers, and you may notice that most of us want answers immediately and have little interest in first taking a deep dive into the problem itself. What I’ve found is that immediate or quick answers often put a

The Voices in Your Head

5/26/2022

Do you ever talk to yourself? Of course, you do! We all talk to ourselves. But how we respond to our inner voices makes a difference between moving ahead and getting stuck in an endless repetition of limitations or pressure. I'm thinking about the voices that walk around with us and filter our experience of life.

The Relationship Mindset

4/29/2022

Recently friends have been coming to me about relationship stuff and it’s not how to love each other more! They’re asking how to approach the inevitable breakdowns in a relationship, which shouldn’t be surprising but catch people off guard. But, what is there to guard against?

Amplify The Good

3/22/2022

It's hard to amplify the good when bombarded daily with war, violence, and crime. I'm not saying to bury our heads in the sand, but the bad gets all the attention. So along with looking for what's missing or wrong, could we find some balance by looking for and amplifying the good?

How To Be Complete

2/9/2022

It's that time of year when you probably inventory your life and make promises to get things done or become a better version of yourself. In short, to create the future. But before you take on what's next, are you complete?

Word Magic

10/29/2021

Words become the portals of truth created by the stories you tell. The question is, do your words move you forward or keep you stuck?

Let's look.

The Test of Generosity

10/12/2021

This week I want to talk about generosity and how you know for sure if your generosity is making an impact. Are you generous? I am sure you are, but I’m not talking about making donations or pitching in on a good cause. These are acts of generosity, no doubt, but I am asking about the small acts of generosity

The Secret of Communicating

8/5/2021

Can you hold two opposing thoughts simultaneously?

Hard to do, but not impossible. If it were impossible, you would never be able to change your mind.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best,

How to Argue

7/21/2021

Why do we have to argue? Can't we all get along? In my younger days, I'd rather be kind than confront an issue that might end in an argument.

I slowly discovered that it wasn't kindness that was guiding my actions. It was avoidance of possible conflict.

How To Say No

6/29/2021

People are making requests of you all the time. And sometimes you forget you can say no because it's awkward! But when you remember that saying yes commits your time, resources, energy, and attention, it's worth bringing some awareness to saying no.

Ads OR Inspiration

5/18/2021

What inspires you? I can find inspiration in all kinds of places, even advertising. Some ads have a philosophy that really speak to me! I know the company’s motivation is to sell me a product, but I love when I hear or see ads that transport me to a bigger context than shopping!

Portals of Connection

5/4/2021

Some friends are telling me they’re concerned that they may have lost their connection with the divine. Our conversations got me thinking about the mystery inherent in our lives. We ask in one form or another three basic questions that focus on our relationship with a higher power:

Shift Happens

4/13/2021

How do you shift from one reality to another?

This question came from playing a game called, "What's your superpower?" My teenaged granddaughter shared with me "shapeshifter" as the superpower she most wanted to have and explained how

Love IS Normal

3/30/2021

It's OK to feel Love right now! What is love? Do you have to deserve it to receive it? Is it the emotion of attraction? Or is it a perspective that defies definition but accedes to a familiar tune that you know when you see it. You can feel it—a delicious force of energy that includes and sees you.

Facing Criticism

3/18/2021

Nothing kills relationships faster than criticism. But here's the dichotomy. Healthy relationships grow with feedback.

What's the difference?

In many cases, both feedback and criticism are hard to hear, but it's how

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