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The Test of Generosity

10/12/2021

 
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This week I want to talk about generosity and how you know for sure if your generosity is making an impact. Are you generous? I am sure you are, but I’m not talking about making donations or pitching in on a good cause. These are acts of generosity, no doubt, but I am ​asking about the small acts of generosity 

that are possible to give freely every day. The small acts that make a difference in your relationships.

Take this short test and find out about your generosity of spirit. 

All the answers are either YES or NO.

1. Do you take the time to find out what’s in someone else’s interest when it’s different from yours?
2. Do you stop what you’re doing and listen when someone is talking to you?
3. Do you let them know what they said was helpful?
4. Do you acknowledge when you’re wrong or make a mistake?
5. Do you consider what’s possible instead of what’s missing?
6. Do you say thank you to feedback instead of being defensive?
7. Do you speak the truth with love?

If you answered yes to all of these, you have an innate generosity. For the rest of us, we can cultivate this state by being present and aware of our impact on others.

It doesn’t take a special skill to see when you disappoint, hurt, or piss someone off. You can recover if, in the split second of noticing, you pause, take a breath, drop your voice, and simply say, “Can we start over?” Then pay attention. You can prevent an incident from turning into evidence that you don’t care by listening longer and taming your impulse to be right at all costs. That doesn’t mean you withhold information or can’t have uncomfortable conversations or speak the truth. It means the context is I care about you, and I care about the outcome.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. If you don’t care about what matters to a loved one, colleague, or friend, you miss an opportunity to connect and discover what makes someone else “tick.” It takes a generous nature to listen.

Remember that generosity requires both giving and receiving, patience and listening, honesty and kindness.

May your day be filled with generosity.

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    Paulette Sun Davis
    writer, executive coach, speaker, gardener.  

    paulette@one-now.com

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