intensify in your mind will help you avoid overreacting or making impulsive decisions. It may also help to reduce anxiety and stress! It’s natural to experience intense emotions, but the choice is yours to act out or to think things through.
This awareness can prevent escalating the problems that naturally happen in life.
Conflict happens, mistakes happen, physical breakdowns happen, as well as misunderstandings. We call them problems. Problems aren’t the problem. You’re a problem solver, so wouldn’t you want to know how to prevent accelerating an existing problem into something irreparable?
Here is a simple strategy that can change your approach and prevent you from overreacting or sending that impulsive text or email.
CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS
The first challenge is recognizing when you’re being stubborn, hurt, hardheaded, or unreasonable and why. I know it’s hard to be rational in the face of someone who “did you wrong,” but when you have concerns about a problem that accelerate into anger, frustration, or WTF, take a moment and ask yourself what happened. Then you can avoid getting lost in judgmental thinking and look at the situation from a curious point of view.
What questions could you ask to get more information before you decide what action to take? If you’re upset, talk to a valued friend. Someone who will NOT automatically agree with you. Someone who will ask questions and investigate with you from a more detached point of view.
You’ll get calmer and find that approach generates more possibilities for resolution. Remember, you can send that email later, but cool down first. Talk to someone, sleep on it, and re-read it in the morning when you can move from agitated to steady.
Cheers to defeating the problem and not each other!
Paulette Sun Davis