Ending Violence

How do you end violence when ideas collide and ignite anger instead of dialogue? Conflicts of ideas aren’t going to end; in fact, they need to be encouraged in public life, companies, and relationships. The problem isn’t the collision of ideas; it’s the inability to 

have a healthy argument. Imagine if we taught ‘How to Argue without Aggression’ in kindergarten, preparing our young people to have a rousing exchange of ideas without devolving into violence.
 
Our society isn’t horrified by violence; otherwise, we wouldn’t flock to movies depicting one violent act after another. What draws us in is how conflicts resolve. Screenwriters use ‘pinch points’ to create conflicts that make characters relatable and stories engaging.
 
So, how do you react to the pinch points in your own life? With dialogue and discussion? By raising issues? Can you have an animated argument with someone you care about but disagree with? You might walk away shaking your head, but can you walk away still loving that person?
 
If you can’t disagree, your relationship is fragile. 
 
There’s a major difference between fragility and vulnerability. Fragility indicates you can’t talk about certain subjects, suggesting a need for careful handling. Vulnerability implies a strength that comes from the willingness to be open and authentic, even when it involves risk. Fragility focuses on potential for damage; vulnerability focuses on the potential for a deeper connection.
 
Ending violence on a global level may seem like a pipe dream, but you can start now on a personal level. Decide if you can be vulnerable, put an issue on the table, and explore it with healthy curiosity with someone who disagrees with you. See if you can do better than someone who picks up a gun when they don’t agree.
 
Use bullet points instead of bullets.