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Love IS Normal

3/30/2021

 
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​It's OK to feel Love right now! What is love? Do you have to deserve it to receive it? Is it the emotion of attraction? Or is it a perspective that defies definition but accedes to a familiar tune that you know when you see it. You can feel it—a delicious force of energy that includes and sees you. ​
Holding a loving perspective in mind communicates connection in any conversation, whether they're tough or casual, work or fun, exciting or boring. 

Does love take practice? Yes, because we slip back into thinking we're separate rather than connected, or we stay focused on past errors or regrets instead of the here and now. Love brings you to the present moment.

Here are nine ideas you can use to promote the love perspective with yourself and others. Please comment and share your thoughts as well.
  1. Notice how your words sound. Let the tone carrying your words be kind. Understand that your words do matter, but so does your tone of voice. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it that's remembered. When you tell the truth with love, it's more readily received.
  2. If you find you're already down the road creating separation, you can always regroup and say, "Let me say that a different way." Just be present, so you notice how people are responding to what you say. 
  3. Practice a neutral response on the way to a loving response by asking questions and being genuinely interested. Something as simple as, "What do you think?" can open up an enlightened conversation.
  4. Be OK with silence. It can create room for spacious thinking. It can make room for saying, "I don't know, let's look."
  5. Are people uplifted and empowered when they leave your presence or hang up after a call? Do you feel better? Do they? If the answer is no, call them back. Engage with people, so they see themselves as capable, loved, and part of the conversation.
  6. Acknowledge and apologize for mistakes, creating space for something new. Love rests on a foundation of accountability and openness. 
  7. Ask what's possible in the face of conflicting ideas. This question allows you to step to someone's side to find mutual interests that reveal who you are most authentically.
  8. Accept that others may show love in different ways. Be curious. There isn't just one way to love. Be the giver and the receiver.
  9. Pay attention and love the one you're with. Connect and listen. Love is still normal and waiting to be expressed daily, so why not love in all ways and always use love.

My husband is an artist and musician. He writes from the heart, and his songs, like poetry set to music, leave me awestruck with the insight that what is given purely shall return in love. Enjoy the lyrics written by my beloved that inspired this post.

Something About Love by Michael Davis

In the middle of an ordinary day, 
When the clouds of hate are swept away, 
In the heart of our silent center, 
Where love can finally enter,
It can be something about love. 

All the violence of the current day, 
Shall not release us 
Until we can say what lives out there, 
Lives in me, all the beauty, all the greed,
Maybe we can finally see it if we let it be,
Something about love.
 
Do I hear your voice above the storm?
Do I hear you calling for the soul of this world?
You speak in a way I always knew,
It might be so simple it could never come true,
Maybe we can finally see it from another point of view.

I can see it when I look at your face.
I can see it in the dreams you chase. 
I know you see it too. 
 
It's in the last act, and the first,
In every song and every verse,
It's in everything we do,
It's something about love.


So the next time something aggravates you and you're about to speak, stop and use one of the nine practices listed above. Let me know your favorite way of turning any conversation away from separate, opposing forces into an awareness of being united by love even when you disagree. Agreement isn't the point of love. The point of love is to prepare yourself to see what's hidden by the illusion of separation.

My love goes with you.

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    Paulette Sun Davis
    writer, executive coach, speaker, gardener.  

    paulette@one-now.com

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