I heard a customer complaint this week about being treated rudely.

I was able to resolve the complaint quickly and did so. 

What was left was to penetrate the rudeness so it wouldn’t happen again.

We’ve all been rude from time to time, knowingly and unknowingly.

The person accused of being rude told me the following:

1. “I recognize what I said and did.”
2. “I’m sorry. I know I am judgmental.”
3. “I’m working on it.”

Her conclusion was to practice an admonishment she read in the Bible that said to guard against a sharp tongue. 

That saying stayed with me all day. I pictured her sharp tongue surrounded and guarded by the word police.

And I knew that wouldn’t do the trick, because as soon as the word police were lulled to sleep in the everyday living of speaking and listening, agreement and conflict, reaction and resistance, the causes of the sharp tongue would play out again in rudeness.

And then it hit me. Have a sharp mind instead of a sharp tongue!

How? Engage your mind before you speak. This is harder than it sounds.

Why? We’re storytellers. Some of the stories are fun and expanding. Some of the stories limit our ability to see something other than what we’ve already decided. 

Stories are repeated. So over time our minds massage the past so the facts are harder to pinpoint and remember. What can get stronger are the conclusions and judgments against an individual or a group of people. Then rudeness and disrespect masquerade as justifiable.

I’m noticing the stories I tell that limit my ability to love, forgive, and be generous in my words and deeds. Or prevent me from seeing someone as they are today.

So when I find myself in the presence of a sharp tongue, my own or others, I stop and engage my mind, even if it results in silence. Then I notice the source of my words before I speak or ask a question.

This practice allows me to be present to think about what I want to bring into the world through my words.

Words are powerful; let’s use them wisely.

My love goes with you as you work with this Uplifting Moment.