Earlier this year we gave a workshop on the topic of WHAT MATTERS MOST. It was simple and illuminating. Simple, because once you decide what matters most, the actions you must take are revealed. Illuminating, because once you become aware of the habits that stop you, you have the opportunity to let them go.
Deciding what matters most to you is a key factor in changing habits that no longer serve you. When that’s clear, you can give up what doesn’t bring you happiness. You’ll find that it gets easier to sacrifice anger for insight into who you are, what you want, and the contribution you make in creating a life worth living.
For example, I decided that one of the things that mattered most to me was to live a long, healthy life. Overtime, it gets easier to sacrifice the over eating, drinking, sugar habits for a lean healthy body. It get’s easier to sacrifice sleeping-in for exercise and increased vitality. It get’s easier to sacrifice image for vulnerability and truth. And pretty soon, it’s not a sacrifice at all; it’s just an essential aspect to joyful living.
I’ve spoken with many people about what matters most to them, and I’m encouraged at the insights about what is truly central to personal fulfillment. Here is some of the wisdom I’ve heard:
I don’t have to change everything to be happy. I’m just going to focus on what’s important and do that.
My old pattern was to quit, run away, overreact, blow things out of proportion; instead I catch myself in the moment and stop. Then I listen.
I’m not freaking out about my job anymore. I just do it. I’m not going to die if I don’t change my job right now.
I ask myself each day what goals I can set that influence my happiness.
It’s OK to be vulnerable. When I’m vulnerable, people want to help.
On the way to fulfilling my big goal, I’m also dealing with what’s in front of me each day.
I let go of my expectations about how others should be, and found I could be myself.
When I ask people how much time they actually spend on what matters most, the common answer is not enough. What amount of time do you spend each day on what matters most to you? The answer will reveal where you place your focus and where there’s room for change.
TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO WRITE DOWN WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU, THEN USE THESE THREE STEPS TO MOVE WHAT YOU DISCOVER INTO ACTION.
1. Prioritize your list of what matters most, and decide what needs your attention now.
2. Identify 3 tasks you can do each day that are important to you. One person told me one of his 3 actions was to hug his child first thing each morning. How often do we let the busyness of our day interfere with what matters most? Writing down the 3 tasks you’ll do each day, will bring what’s important front and center.?
3. Understand that failure doesn’t stop you, it points out a flaw in your strategy—not in you. Take the necessary steps to correct your course of action. The gain in your performance and confidence is well worth the effort.
In the words of my friend Beth, what matters most can change. What mattered most in high school, is probably not what matters most now. What mattered most when you had a job, may not be what matters most when you don’t. She reminds us to stay present and true to what matters most today. It is the source of your fulfillment, and is available in the actions you take right now.
If you would like to bring more of what matters most into your daily life, I invite you to join us for our next workshop on October 17th, in Petaluma. CLICK HERE for event and registration information.
My love goes with you as you work with this uplifting moment.