“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” My friend Rose sent me that quote from Carl Jung, and it inspired this week’s Uplifting Moment.

As I considered what Jung said, I thought about what this practice of looking inside might create. I suspected that it would focus my personal practice on awakening as a force for the highest good, as a beneficial presence, in my conversations and interactions.

Beneficial means, resulting in good. I’ve been thinking about the significance of what it means to be beneficial, and I’m left with the statement; consider the highest good for all concerned.

We live in a world where anger is too readily the response to anyone who opposes us, from local council meetings in small towns, considering whether to bring in big box stores (going on in my town right now), to national health care coverage. Some people quietly slip away and choose not to engage in the dialogue, while others grab the microphone and attempt to take over. What prevents us from listening as a beneficial presence and inviting an exchange of ideas, instead of getting angry, fleeing the scene, or taking over?

I think the answer lies in the second word of the phrase beneficial presence. Presence means, being there. The question becomes, what are you being with? You are present with something, what is that something?

It’s easy for others to notice when you’re not present in a conversation. Something that just happened, your own worries, or a person walking by, can distract you. The person you’re with is likely to point it out to you, if that person is a good friend! With that reminder, you can take a breath, come present, and let it go or talk about it. That’s what good friends are for—not to agree with you, but to be with you.

Unfortunately, just when you need it most, you may ignore external reminders, and fail to notice the response you’re creating in another person. These are the times you provoke excessive frustration, anger, discomfort, or suffering. In those moments if you looked inside, what would you find? What is the source of your need in the moment? Could it be that you’re more interested in being right or smart or heroic, than being present?  You can recognize this if your needs outweigh and override anyone else’s. A little introspection into your needs is valuable, so you can look inside and determine what’s at stake. At these times, you can pose the question, “What is the highest good for all concerned?” This can serve in two ways: first, by interrupting your reaction to the moment, and second, for awakening a beneficial presence.

I’ve developed this as a practice: to be with what is, unadorned.

This gives me some room around my opinions, that isn’t already filled up with pre-existing ideas of what should be. It loosens my attachment to a specific outcome, so I can consider what’s possible for the highest good of all concerned.

Try on these 3 ideas for being with what is, and awakening a beneficial presence:

1. Shift your focus to be present. It takes practice to be fully where you are. That means you have to show up. Who are you if you’re not your opinions? Look inside, and notice what fuels your responses in the moment. How do you be with the moment instead of reacting to it?

2. Say what you think with love. You can say what you think without being attached to it. Be more interested in what you can discover than being right about any one idea. Love allows you to be with what is … at work, in your relationships, and in your community. Love is spacious, inclusive, and generous; and gives you room to pose the question, “What is the highest good for all concerned?”

3. Be quiet. (Everyone who knows me well, you can stop laughing now!) I love to express myself. But I’m finding that quietness, like breathing in and out, is enveloping. It leaves me with a delicious stillness. Being quiet creates space, the space to be present and connect with the moment, draw out ideas, and consider mutual benefit. It gives others space to think, reflect, and engage.

My husband is a beneficial presence. People love to talk to him, because when they do, he shows up with all his attention and awareness. He’s just … there. The time to look inside exists now. Take a breath and be with what is as a beneficial presence and you will find, more and more, that instead of being there with the answer, you are being there for good.

My love goes with you as you work with this Uplifting Moment